Friday, January 23, 2015

Tour from hell

I know I'm seriously behind on this blog. About three weeks of Vietnam behind to be exact. I'll get around to it, I promise.



First off, I was told be several travelers coming from Vietnam things like "There are no dogs on the street because they eat them all." or "You only see really cute dogs because they eat the other ones." I see plenty of Vietnamese families or businesses with dogs as pets. And by this I mean dogs wearing collars or t-shirts. Dogs that are clearly overjoyed when their person pulls up on a moto. Dogs who have mastered the "please rub my tummy" look. So yes, they eat dog here. But no, most people are probably exaggerating just to mess with you.





Anywho, today I wanted to make my way from the capitol city of Hanoi over to an island near Halong Bay called Cat Ba Island. This requires both a boat and a bus trip. I had read that many of the trips from Hanoi to Halong Bay were dreadful, but I still let the man at my hotel talk me into buying a 1-Day-Tour for my trip over to Cat Ba Island.

I've taken a few tours here in Asia. Most of them start the exact same way: "Be ready at XXam and we will come pick you up." Now sometimes they appear at precisely XXam (this always seems to happen if you are running a bit late). Most of the time they appear within half an hour or so of that time, because the same bus goes around picking multiple people up from multiple locations. Makes sense right?

So we are ready at 8am, get picked up around 815, and at 845am we pick up with tiny angry French man. Why was he angry? First, the tour was almost an hour late to pick him up. So what did he do, he decided to order breakfast. So of course the driver (who spoke essentially no English) arrived, the angry French man was not able to finish his meal and was rushed onto the bus. He proceeded to call his booking agent to (loudly) explain why the tour company should pay for his meal because he was not able to finish it.

Once done with his conversation, the bus quieted down and we began to head out of the city towards the ocean. Then all of a sudden the French man goes 'Oh! OH!' and becomes quite agitated once more. Apparently he had just realized that he was on a bus full of people going to Halong Bay when he had intended to be doing the Hanoi City Tour. Whoops. What followed was lots of yelling about turning the bus around and taxis and crazy bus drivers. Eventually the angry French man was sent back to the city in a taxi and we proceeded onward to catch a boat to Halong Bay and Cat Ba Island.


Upon arrival at the dock, we were herded onto a boat with about fifteen others who were all doing some sort of tour that involved going to Cat Ba Island. We had a nice lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon being herded around in something that felt very much like a middle school field trip led by a strange and somewhat rude Vietnamese man we had for a guide.

"You're on the top deck. Get down, sit down and I would like to talk to you. We do not go up there until later in the tour."

When we were in one of the caves, our guide was particularly excited to point out to us cave shapes that looked like certain mail and female body parts. He then asked one of the girls if she was giggling because its a body part she likes. Then, all the men in the group were required to touch some round boob-shape rocks so that they would have good luck finding an attractive woman in the future. "No ladies! Boys make sure you touch them with two hands."

It took most of my willpower not to ask him why I couldn't have good luck finding an attractive woman in the future.

After some kayaking, some more shuffling around of people between our boat and another one, we were told we were on our way to Cat Ba Island. We pull up to a cement dock in the dark, and I realize that I don't see any lights. This is definitely not the town. We were definitely not dropped off right at the town like we were told. That's ok though! We were all then herded onto a very old and creaky bus. For the next 35 or 40 minutes we then bounced slowly on a bumpy, hilly dirt road until we finally reached the town center and we checked into our hostel.

Our spirits were revived with some noodle soup, spring rolls, and some really great advice about the island from some guys who had been on the island for a few days.

Halong Bay was absolutely stunning, and nothing could take away from that no matter how ridiculous my day was. I think today is a pretty good reminder to NOT be the angry French man. Yelling doesn't accomplish anything. Don't order food when you're waiting to leave for somwhere. Most importantly, be flexible and pay attention to your surroundings. Traveling in SE Asia means that things hardly ever go exactly as planned. If you can't roll with the punches, you'll spend way to much time stressed out.


And I generally take online travel advice with a grain of salt, but from now on, if I only read horror stories online... I'm staying away. They aren't joking.